75mg of ANTigen B67…. STAT!

You’re not sick. In fact, you’re not even tired…. yet somehow you know you aren’t 100%. You feel fine. We all do. Then one day you are reaching for something familiar and you realize it feels much heavier than you remember. What the heck?

What you are suffering from is commonly referred to as degenerative muscle fatigue or DMF…. And normally it only gets worse… then you die. But thanks to four bio-protein research geneticists at the Munich Institute for Advanced Medical Studies you needn’t suffer much longer.

They have isolated a unique protein found in almost all variants of ant species that is specifically responsible for their enhanced muscle performance, flexibility (even though we don’t think of ants as flexible), responsiveness, and most importantly re-generation.

The secret isn’t in the protein itself, but rather in the (simple) processing technique that allows it to be metabolized by humans. In controlled doses, the average adult (regardless of gender) can realize a 30% or greater increase in strength and flexibility by following a simple exercise routine - in just three weeks.

Prolonged use (4-6 months) of the supplement by control subjects have yielded sustained strength and flexibility improvements with no observable side-effects except for… get this… weight loss AND youthful looks. It’s true - ANTigen B67 actually REVERSES the ravages of time by stimulating new tissue growth resulting in healthier and firmer skin. You will look and feel years younger.

Is this a miracle drug? NO… it is not. Why? Because it is all-natural, it qualifies as a food supplement – in fact there aren’t even preservatives in the final product (unnecessary due to the natural probiotic binding agent).

Empirical research has shown that with a 84% success rate (some persons with a genetic pre-disposition can cause the protein to be digested instead of synthesized – harmless but lacking the desired result) this is one of the most effective means of rejuvenating tired muscles quickly and safely.

ANTigen B67 comes in a powder form – not unlike current protein supplements and strangely enough naturally tastes like anise.

Check the shelves at your local GNC or whole food store starting in early May.

Regards,

TT

P.S. If you belive me...I’m gonna go out on a limb and say you’ve tried these other excellent products:

1. Pro-biotic supplements (originally selling for hundreds of dollars) – sellers managed to fleece tons of cat food eating senior citizens for something that occurs naturally in yogurt – assholes.

2. All Bran Buds – did you ever wonder why All Bran Buds are the ONLY cereal containing psyllium fibre?? It’s because THEY MADE THAT SHIT UP… the same way I made up ANTigen B67 (the 67 is my year of birth) Psyllium sounds more like an Element on the Periodic Table anyway.

3. Echinacea anything. Please – there is no cure for the common cold… get over it… buy a tea.

4. Ginseng anything – remember when farmers were thinking of ripping out perfectly good crops to grow this? Where are they now? Probably planting truffles.

5. Green Tea – if you want tea… drink it… don’t give me some crap of how healthy it is compared to good old Tetley. Bloody communists.

6. Anything “Dr. Mom approved” – what the hell does she know anyway? And where did she get her degree?

7. Low-carb bread – 40% less carbs because the slices are 40% thinner… big deal. Let them eat cake.

8. Anything featuring Honey – c’mon… this came out of a bee’s ass.

9. Atkins approved items – the fat bastard died of a heart attack… what does that tell you?

10. Meal Supplements – If I wanted a chocolate shake I’d have gone to Dairy Queen. When they get T-bone steak and sautéed mushrooms in a can… I’ll reconsider. No wonder people lose weight… 3 cans of slop.

11. Low-fat anything since you need three times as much to taste anything you end up eating more anyway. Ever hear “use cream cheese instead of butter because it’s less fatty” Anyone who has ever seen a cream cheese bagel knows if that was butter you’d be dead on a pile of losing roll up to win cups.

12. Ivory – do you need moisturizing cream in your bath soap? Are you dirty or dry? Figure it out first… buy product second. Oh wait… remember it’s 99 94/100ths oil free… well that’s good to know… I was going to try and fry an egg in it.

13. Aloe Vera laced tissues – for when you have 3^rd degree burns on your nose. As for bathroom tissues as soft as kittens… when was the last time you wiped kitty across your poop smeared buttocks? I can’t remember either.

14. Jojoba Oil – was this the shampoo thing? Or a car additive?

15. Orange based cleansers – unleashed the cleaning power of oranges lately?

16. Beer in your Shampoo – again… dirty? or thirsty? Figure it out.

17. It’s not too long ago we were making fun of the idea of the 8 bladed razor… the OCTOPLUS by Gillette…. Sadly a marketer will probably make us crave it by year end. It doesn’t just shave beneath the skin… it transcends the skin and removed a layer of your soul. Shhh – it was my idea, here come the four horsemen with my ride.